How to annoy Kuroshitsuji Characters
by zeke899
Summary: Have you ever wondered how to annoy the Kuroshitsuji  Black Butler  characters if you ever met them? Then read… please…
1. Ciel

**Title: **How to Annoy Kuroshitsuji (Black Butler) Characters

**Rating: **T

**Disclaimer:** I (obviously) don't own Kuroshitsuji or it WOULD be a Yaoi and we don't have to fantasize...)

**Summary:** Have you ever wondered how to annoy the Kuroshitsuji (Black Butler) characters if you ever met them? Then read… please… Also I am obsessed with Roman Numerals (Blame KH) so…

**Chapter I**

**Ciel Phantomhive**

**I.** Take Sebastian away from him.

**II.** Call him "Shorty".

**III.** Show him 'CielxClaude fanfiction.

**IV.** Show him CielxClaude pictures.

**V.** Put catnip tequila in his tea.

**VI.** Take his eye patch and run around saying "arg!" or "as if".

**VII.** Tell him that you know about his contract and everything with Sebastian but don't tell him how you know.

**VIII.** Tell him that Sebastian wants to marry and take a picture of his reaction with the camera in ep. 9.

**IX. **Start acting like Undertaker and become obsessed with his body.

**X.** Tell him that Alois is way better than him and he could beat him in chess any day.

**XI.** Jinx his chess set so he loses EVERY time.

**XII.** Make him eat a tattooed fruit roll up with the tattoo of Alois' pentacle and put a blond wig on him.

**XIII.** Blame everything on Grell.

**XIV.** Ask him if he is on team Edward or Jacob (or if you hate Twilight, Peeta or Gale)

**XV.** Ask him if he could cross-dress again.

**XVI.** If he says 'no', then show him the 'Corset Scene' and laugh.

**XVII.** Show Sebastian the 'Corset Scene' and stop it when the corset will show and wink at him. You can figure out the rest.

**XVIII.** Tape it with your video camera.

**IXX. **Show May-Rin

**XX.** Make Ciel listen to 'Nyan Cat' all day.

**XXI.** Call Ciel a 'Gay homo fag' (blame raywilliamjohnson for that one)

**XXII.** Ask him what Yaoi is.

**XXIII.** If he says 'no', then cry until he looks it up on wiki.

**XXIV. **If he says 'yes', then say to him 'Psh. You WOULD know that Gay homo fag!'

**XXV.** Curse REALLY loud at random times and if he asks you why, then yell 'BLAME GLOBAL WARMING' (everyone blames that for everything now).

**XXVI.** Laugh every time he is next to you and is he asks you 'why are you laughing?' show him a picture of him in the dress in ep. 4.

**XXVII** Ask him if he knows who Jeff Dunham is.

**XXVIII.** If he says 'no', then tell him that he should be one of his puppets (I am thinking he would be the grandson of Walter).

**IXXX.** Glomp him at random times.

**XXX. **At exactly 11:45, scream 'WHO ARE YOU CALLING A PIMPSQWEEK THAT THEY CAN'T EVEN GO TO THE BEACH BECAUSE THEY WILL SINK INTO THE SAND AND THEY DON'T EVEN HAVE TO WORRY WHEN THE TIDE COMES BECAUSE THEY ARE SO SMALL THAT THEY CAN BREATHE THROUGHT THE OXYGEN ATOMS IN THE WATER!' (If you don't watch Fullmetal, then you won't understand).

**Thanks for reading! I think I will do 30 for each character. What do you think? Okay, for the next chapter, I need AT LEAST 5 reviews. Bad, good, I really don't care. Reviews help people in their writing! So… yeah… byez.**

**Ciel: I hate my life.**

**Me: I don't blame you ^v^**


	2. Sebastian

**Hey people I am back! And as promised after 5 reviews I will write the 2****nd**** chapter. HOLEY EFFING SHIZ-NIKS! I didn't know it would be THAT popular! Anyway~ here is character #2! **

**(Oh, before I forget, ****crazingonbeyblade111****, Idk about undertaker's… he IS my fave character and all but~~~)**

**Title: **How to Annoy Kuroshitsuji (Black Butler) Characters

**Rating: **T

**Disclaimer:** I (obviously) don't own Kuroshitsuji or it WOULD be a Yaoi and we don't have to fantasize...)

**Chapter II**

**Sebastian Michaelis**

**I. **Tell Sebastian that Ciel wanted him to do a stripping show with Grell as an audience.

**II. **Ask Sebastian what he was thinking before Lau's stupid Goddamn fireworks shot off in ep. 9.

**III.** Show him pictures of SebastianxClaude with Sebastian as an uke. ;)

**IV. **Capture every cat you can find and give them to Grell.

**V. **Tell Sebastian that if he wants to save those precious kittens, he must confess his love to Ciel.

**VI. **Tell Ciel to slap him. (if he asks why, tell him that he will get rid of Lizzy for him).

**VII. **Ask Sebastian who was pregnant with Claude: him or Will.

**VIII. **Call him Sebby or Bassy (depends if you like the Jap. Version or the Eng. Version)

**IX. **Call him "Catwoman" (I mean really? Boots, claws, sharp teeth, eyes! Omg!)

**X. **Ask him how he got his arm back (HOW DID HE DO THAT!)

**XI. **Hum 'Dance with the devil' all day every day

**XII. **When he is focused on something very important, scream in his ear "TWILIGHT ISN'T LITURATURE!"

**XIII. **Make him watch Junjo Romantica (LOVE THAT SHOW!)

**XIV. **Yell at him about Symmetry and he is NOT symmetrical.

**XV. **Tell him Claude can tap dance. What the Hell can HE do?

**XVI. **Tell him Ciel wants him to dress as a smexy maid for a week. (Get Ciel's voice recorded to say it if he doesn't believe you.)

**XVII. **"Accidentally" leave up CielxAlois fanfics and see how he reacts.

**XVIII. **Poke him every six seconds.

**IXX. **Pretend to be him and flick your hair like he did when he "sparkled".

**XX. **Yell a random animal at random moments.

**XXI. **Say to him "Can Gieco really save you 15 % or more on car insurence? Does Sebastian Michaelis look dead sexy in a mini skirt?"

**XXII.** Tell Mey-Rin that today is 'Glomp Sebastian day'.

**XXIII. **Tell Sebastian that you are sueing him for klng your brother in ep. 2.

**XXIV.** Tell Sebastian that Ce is played by a girl.

**XXV.** Call Sebastian "Blackie" for a week.

**XXVI. **Don't tell him why.

**XXVIII. **Video tape it and put it on youtube.

**IXXX.** Tell Sebastian that he ranks 5 on your "hot anime guys" list.

**XXX. **If he asks who is infront of him, tell him one of the following: Ronald Knox (!lovehim!), Ciel Phantomhive, Zero (idk his last name), Aido, Edward, Kyouya, or Te twins from Ouran.

**OHEMEFFINGGAWD! I just felt like typing that. Umm... There is one annoy-ing hing-y that inspired me. The number is... XII (LARXENE! grr) and I got it from... demyxtime. I was listening to my music on windows media player and I can across that (i have it saved for MMD so the audio ends up in there so I kinda laughed a little.)**

**ALSO! If you are in need of a Beta reader, I am accecpting stories! Just PM me or ask in the reviews. Speaking of reviews... I need a TOTAL of ... 12? Please! I don't care if that are bad or good! Reviewing stories improves work! Also look me up on youtube! search zeke8994141 and wath my vids (I have black butler vids including smexy sebastian)**

**Me: are you paying attention?**

**Sebastian: (Listening to Nyan cat)**

**Ciel: *throws iPod***

**Me: dude, u just got PWNED!**

**Sebastian: screw u all... screw u all...**


	3. Grell

**YO PEOPLE! How's it going? Okay, sorry for updating so late. I am trying to kill manse…Xemnas in KH 2 and is SO EFFING HARD! I am even wearing my KH 2 tee and my oathkeeper and Oblivion necklace! WTF! Okay. So now we move to… Jack the Ripper… or half which is… Grell… yeah. **

**I.** Tell him Sebastian is taken.

**II.** Don't tell him who.

**III.** Cut off all of his hair and dye it green (wtf?)

**IV.** Tell Will that he needs to take away his death Scythe… again… (tell him to replace them with crayons so he can color the enemy to DEATH!)

**V. **Delete all of the pictures Grell took in season 2.

**VI. **Smash his death scythe when he doesn't have it.

**VII. **Leave the evidence in Ronald's room.

**VIII. **Make Sebastian "play dead" in front of Grell.

**IX. **Call him "Ginger."

**X.** "Accidentally" set his hair on fire and when he asks you why did you do that, tell him "I thought red was the color of 'fiery' passion and he was flaming."

**XI. **Pretend to be him and do the weird-ass hand sign he does when he said "Death" or "Desu".

**XII. **Tell him that Sebastian needs to talk with him in private.

**XIII. **Watch Sebastian get confused, angry, and possibly punch Grell in the face.

**XIV.** Cut the chains in his glasses.

**XV. **Break his glasses.

**XVI. **Make a list of the best Reaper and put him at the end.

**XVII. **Summon Edward to 'almost' kill Grell, but when he can't get up, walk up to him and say "Dude. You just got beat by a shorty" (then listen to Edward yell out short rants).

**XVIII.** Destroy Grell's "hunk tracker."

**IXX. **(Thank Axel for this one) sing 'hips don't lie' every time you see Grell.

**XX. **Show Grell the 'corset scene' and stop before the corset is shown.

**XXI.** Laugh uncontrollably while Grell has a fit over Sebastian on why he should be with him instead of that 'brat'.

**XXII. **Take away all of Grell's makeup and accessories.

**XXIII. **Shave off his hair and make him wear the brown wig (because he hated the fact that he couldn't show Sebastian his true colors).

**XXIV. **Ask him if he either likes Yuri or Yaoi (because he is gay AND a guy so…).

**XXV.** Make him eat the hottest pepper in the world, but tell him that it is a 'Sebastian love potion'.

**XXVI.** Replace all of his red objects with blue/white ones.

**XXVII. **Burn his coat and tell him that 'Sebastian hates the color red' and see how he reacts.

**XXVIII.** Tell him that Sebastian has fallen in love.

**IXX. **Don't tell him who.

**XXX. **Replace his scythe(s) with Ciel plushies and watch what he does to the. ;)

**So that chapter is done now (took a while). I did have my friend halp me... we came up with WeIrD stuff... anywayzzzz... idk what else to put here. I want... umm... 25 reviews. Then I will post the other half of Jack the Ripper. So... ONTO chattin with the character time!**

**Grell: Sebby!**

**Sebastian: What?**

**Alex: *nosebleed from seeing Sebastian in real life***

**Me: lolzzz**

**Grell: Guess what I did to ur computer today?**

**Sebastian: if you touched anything in my cat folder I will stab you in ur stupid, gay, homo, fag face!**

**Grell: I just wanted to say that I added sweet and sexy picts to ur folders.**

**Alex: *Trying to cover nosebleed.**

**Grell: OOHH~~~ BLOOD!**

**Ciel: Sebastian, go get a napkin for lady Alex.**

**Me: ...my mouth is bleeding Sebastian. Can you fix it?**

**Alex : *Hits zeke899 (she really did just hit me. lol)**


	4. Alois

**Title: **How to Annoy Kuroshitsuji (Black Butler) Characters

**Rating: **T

**Disclaimer:** I obviously (duh) don't own Kuroshitsuji, or… well… let's just say it would be rater MA for a reason ;)

**I. **Replace all of his "booty" shorts with regular shorts, about knee-length.

**II. **Call him a dumb blonde.

**III. **Tell him that Claude hates him.

**IV. **Take a picture of his reaction and post it via YouTube.

**V. **Tell him that there is a sexy video if Ciel stripping on your camera and DON'T let him watch it.

**VI. **Show the video to everyone BUT him.

**VII. **Talk about the video ALL the time, but mostly to Claude. ;)

**VIII. **Give him one of Undertaker's cookies and tell him that it's _not_ poisoned with a sarcastic tone.

**IX. **Dye his hair dark blue-ish and put an eye-patch on him when he's sleeping.

**X. **Show Claude…. Poor Alois (there goes his soul)

**XI. **Read his Journal/diary (if he has one O.o)

**XII. **Tell him that you know his deepest, darkest secret, and if he doesn't slap himself fifty times, you will say to EVERYONE (wonder what it is XD)

**XIII. **Put a mini microphone next to his mouth and the earpiece in your ear (he doesn't know it's there)

**XIV. **Tell him that everyone will love him if he whispers his thoughts out loud, but no one really has to hear him.

**XV. **Tell him that you can read his mind (the end to XIII-XIV)

**XVI. **Put something (idk what) on his tongue when he is asleep to make it look like the contract is gone.

**XVII. **Dye his hair bleach-blonde, like Lady GaGa blonde.

**XVIII. **Write "He started pedoin', thought Oh my God! I reached back like a pimp and slapped the Claude" everywhere in his mansion.

**IXX. **Tell Claude that Alois got Ciel, but he didn't know it, so he can have his soul now. ):

**XX. **Yell "OHMIGAWD! FLYING MINT BUNNEH!" every time he is about to say something.

**XXI. **After Claude says something to Alois, yell "like a boss!" for a week.

**XXII. **Write on a sticky note "Seven days…" in really sloppy handwriting and stick it on his desk. Do this for seven days and on the eighth day, write "zero days," then the day after that, write "negative one day…" and so on.

**XXIII. **Throw a pen at him from a distance and run away before he somehow sees you. Do this for a month.

**XXIV. **Scream random things like "Polar Bears" or "Cream Cheese" when he sticks out his tongue.

**XXV. **Imitate him and do that weird "Gyaaaa!" thing for ten minutes straight.

**XXVI. **Ask him if he wants fries with that after every time he orders Claude to do something.

**XXVII. **Tell Grell that if he acts like Lizzy for Alois, you will give him Sebastian for TWO days! (:

**XXVIII. **Constantly ask him if he is an uke or seme or both. If he doesn't know what that is, tell him that red is uke, and blue is seme. Purple is both.

**IXXX. **Sing "Gay bar," but make it sound like you are talking, not singing, in front of him

**XXX. **Poke HIS eye out and see how HE likes it!

**A/N: OMG! Y DIDN'T I DO ALOIS EARLIER! Sooooo sorry for the wait, I was too focused on Lizzy or Madame Red to be smart enough to do other characters. :P Anyway, I need help with Madame Red and Lizzy, so if anyone can help me, PM me and I will credit you! No promises for uploading the next character within the next month (there is only six days so…)…yeah. If you haven't, check out my new (old to me) story called "The night before his birthday". But if you don't like shouna-ai (is that how u spell it?) of yaoi, don't read it. Although, nothing happens… (coughpervertscough) it's a CielxSebby fic so… not forcing you to do anything… that's duct tape's job. Who DOESN'T love duct tape? Now they have designs on them! AWESOME~~~! KK well thanks for reading… ummm… idk how many reviews… I just don't really care anymore (but you can if you really want to). The only person I want to review is my friend at school… she helped me with Grell anyway… so Byez!**


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